The opening went as follows:
"We have analyzed medical claims data that indicate you might be interested in or are pursuing treatment for infertility."
The letter goes on to tell me about the services available through my insurance company as well as some statistics for a specific clinic.
Um....hmmm...I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I must admit that I am amazed at the advances in modern medicine. They can replace your heart, reattach a limb, and now ladies and gentleman a PROSTHETIC UTERUS!! wooot. Wait, no...hold on the peanut gallery is telling me there's no such thing. Ok ok will they give me a pouch like a kangaroo? Imagine the posibilities. If I had a pouch it'd be handy not only for carrying Festus the Fetus, but my cellphone, my car keys, a 6-pack of Mickey's Big Mouths....
I know! They'll put in a water-balloon so it'll be all stretchy and stuff. And the water-balloon, oh man. Once I reached term I could pull it out and throw it as some unsuspecting citizen. I mean come on a water-balloon full of afterbirth...what fun! *mayhaps I've gone too far*
Seriously though I really want to know WHAT data they analyzed to send me a letter TWO MONTHS AFTER MY SURGERY! Not to mention how they plan to accomplish the PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
So, I got on the phone and gave them a holler. The first representative was very nice. She was downright horrified that I'd gotten this letter. She transfered me to someone who was supposed to document the incident and pass it along to prevent further oopsies. Well of course rep number 2 was a guy. A guy who had NO clue why I was insensed. A guy who told me to 'just throw it away'. *sigh* Well, instead I pulled out the big guns and WROTE THEM A VERY IRATE LETTER. Complete with finger wagging and everything. I don't particularly expect a response, but I couldn't 'just throw it away' either.
The state of healthcare in America, woe is I. My poor discarded womb. Excuse me I have water-balloons to fill.
So, I got on the phone and gave them a holler. The first representative was very nice. She was downright horrified that I'd gotten this letter. She transfered me to someone who was supposed to document the incident and pass it along to prevent further oopsies. Well of course rep number 2 was a guy. A guy who had NO clue why I was insensed. A guy who told me to 'just throw it away'. *sigh* Well, instead I pulled out the big guns and WROTE THEM A VERY IRATE LETTER. Complete with finger wagging and everything. I don't particularly expect a response, but I couldn't 'just throw it away' either.
The state of healthcare in America, woe is I. My poor discarded womb. Excuse me I have water-balloons to fill.
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