This is, hopefully, the last time I will be writing about how some guy knocked me out, cut me open and stole my female parts (last I saw they were available on ebay and there was quite the bidding war). It's been about a month now and most of the time I totally forget that I had surgery (drugs'll do that to you). That is, until I bend or turn juuust right, and then I get a lovely little twinge that says 'hey dummy...you're not quite done healing'. There's still a small scab on one of the incisions and the scarring as nowhere near what I was afraid of. Instead of cool jagged scarring I have little round spots about the size of an eraser that look more like zits gone astray. And...dammit....I still have adhesive from the bandages. It's lovely, my big ol' white belly covered in fuzzy sticky residue..and not from anything exciting either. I tried make up remover (per the doctor's suggestion) but the stuff won't budge.
On the upside, at my post-op appointment I found out I'd lost 4 whole pounds! Woohoo? Hey I'll take it. I also got some LOVELY color pictures of my insides. Namely the top side of my cervix and my right ovary. Behold.....
I know, I know, not what I expected either. Awkward and disturbing to say the least. I mean, why ban ninjas? You'd think they'd be helpful unlike say...sheep herders?
I had mentioned before that from what I had read...the land of 'O' was going to be less than spectacular. Well, let me just say this....LIES....ALL LIES. Things are peachy keen thank you very much. It's ok I know you were dying to know.
I'm still a little moody and stuff, but I mostly attribute that to the fact that I'M STUCK IN MY HOUSE WITH NO JOB AND NO CAR....Oh, and I HAVE TEENAGERS.
I've been watching WAY too much tv. I suddenly live for Wife Swap....holy crap where do they find these nut jobs. And QVC....lord have mercy...QVC. Is there NOTHING to do in the south at 3 a.m.? Don't you people sleep?
So, all in all things are things and it is what it is.
Gotta run, it's time for Reba re-runs.
On the upside, at my post-op appointment I found out I'd lost 4 whole pounds! Woohoo? Hey I'll take it. I also got some LOVELY color pictures of my insides. Namely the top side of my cervix and my right ovary. Behold.....
I know, I know, not what I expected either. Awkward and disturbing to say the least. I mean, why ban ninjas? You'd think they'd be helpful unlike say...sheep herders?
I had mentioned before that from what I had read...the land of 'O' was going to be less than spectacular. Well, let me just say this....LIES....ALL LIES. Things are peachy keen thank you very much. It's ok I know you were dying to know.
I'm still a little moody and stuff, but I mostly attribute that to the fact that I'M STUCK IN MY HOUSE WITH NO JOB AND NO CAR....Oh, and I HAVE TEENAGERS.
I've been watching WAY too much tv. I suddenly live for Wife Swap....holy crap where do they find these nut jobs. And QVC....lord have mercy...QVC. Is there NOTHING to do in the south at 3 a.m.? Don't you people sleep?
So, all in all things are things and it is what it is.
Gotta run, it's time for Reba re-runs.
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