Well, I survived. Exactly one week ago I had my innards tugged and yanked and some of them removed. And wonder of wonders, I lived to tell about it. I admit I was a little over-dramatic. It's not NEARLY as bad as I thought it would be....so far.
I just wish they'd warned me about the damn constipation. Yes I said it....I was constipated. I didn't shit for almost a week. They don't tell you going in that the surgery will send your system into shock. That the drugs will cause a back up in your colon that makes rush-hour traffic pale in comparison. I digested at the speed of old people humping. Because of course my insides weren't sore enough. I wasn't bloated enough (sidebar: it's EPICALLY ironic that having your baby factory removed makes you look 6 months pregnant). I finally resorted to the ONE thing I could count on...yogurt. Sometimes being lactose intolerant isn't so bad. Tuesday morning however, I awoke with a start. I shuffled to the potty at the speed of....well....I shuffled ok. And then I sat. I sat and I sat. I have NO ab muscles right now.....Ok so you're grossed out now, whatever.
The main thing here is I survived. The world has not caved in...it just feels that way. I still have ovaries and I'm WAY over emotional right now. This could be because they've gone into shock from the surgery (lovely little side effect) or because I'm due for PMS...go team. Either way it blows.
I just wish they'd warned me about the damn constipation. Yes I said it....I was constipated. I didn't shit for almost a week. They don't tell you going in that the surgery will send your system into shock. That the drugs will cause a back up in your colon that makes rush-hour traffic pale in comparison. I digested at the speed of old people humping. Because of course my insides weren't sore enough. I wasn't bloated enough (sidebar: it's EPICALLY ironic that having your baby factory removed makes you look 6 months pregnant). I finally resorted to the ONE thing I could count on...yogurt. Sometimes being lactose intolerant isn't so bad. Tuesday morning however, I awoke with a start. I shuffled to the potty at the speed of....well....I shuffled ok. And then I sat. I sat and I sat. I have NO ab muscles right now.....Ok so you're grossed out now, whatever.
The main thing here is I survived. The world has not caved in...it just feels that way. I still have ovaries and I'm WAY over emotional right now. This could be because they've gone into shock from the surgery (lovely little side effect) or because I'm due for PMS...go team. Either way it blows.
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